A Call for Help

Sifted from the random drek that fills militia chat:

Random Guy 1 > Yo. Anything fun and exciting going on?
Helpin Fool> ive been wondering the same
Maroon > yeah. come help me gank this fool.
Maroon > ctzn snips in Oicx.
Helpin Fool> whats he in and where are you at
Maroon > navy comet.
Maroon > at oicx gate/ villierl
Helpin Fool> 100mn tengu, INS, hawk, curse, oracle or harbinger.
Helpin Fool> as in which do you want me to fly.
Maroon > fukin goddamn do something
Maroon > shit. i told u the gate i am getting ass fuked by 5 of em
Maroon > shit.
Helpin Fool> lol your going to be dead long before id get anywhere near you
Maroon > bullshit i am.
Maroon > i made it back.
Maroon > but they want to kill me. shame i dont have reinforcements…
Maroon > they followed me all the way back to Eha.
Corelin > if you are already getting shot at it’s almost always too late for reinforcements to get there, that’s why people almost never bother in the first place
Helpin Fool> pretty much, i mean id come, but its a tad late for me to get anywhere near you, im in perimiter
Maroon > dude if you would stop suckin your own dick and do something you might be an asset to this militia. nobody fucking cares how many ships you have or how many sp you have. wipe off your mouth and grab a gun.
Helpin Fool> i asked you waht you wanted me to fly to help you
Maroon > any ship.
Helpin Fool> ok then BRT GALLENTE SHUTTLE
Maroon > i was in a cormorant. and i held off two of em.
Helpin Fool> how about you blow it out your ass and give me a fucking clue isntead of being a cockmonger
Maroon > less talkie talkie more pew pew.
Maroon > Maroon out.

First off:  Anything in militia chat is highly likely to be a troll, but about 4 or 5x an hour Caldari Militia chat gets a call for help.  These usually follow the pattern set out in this simulated chat:

Nooblet:  Help
Nooblet:  Hepl please!
Nooblet:  DAMNIT I NEED HELP
Bittervet:  Where are you and what is going on
Nooblet:  I’m in black rise and getting shot at by like 5 guys I need help

I’ll let you fill in the rest.  Chats like that drive players up the wall.  They are one of MANY reason why FW vets and “serious” FW guys tend to ignore militia chat and go for player-created channels.

Calling for help generally doesn’t work for a bunch of reasons.  First off:  PvP fights are fast.  90% of the time the combatants are in smaller ships and the whole fight is over in 2 minutes.  By the time I’ve checked what I’m in and what I’m doin’ you are entering structure.  Doesn’t help a lot.  Second:  TERRIBLE requests for help.  Which do you think will get you help faster, the conversation above or:

Bittervet 1:  Friendly Drake tackled Onna gate in Kinakka, 3 WTs in BCs.
Bittervet 2:  Friendly fleet 3J out, keep ‘em on the field

There may not always be a friendly fleet up, or convenient to you, but there will almost always be a fleet somewhere.  Even if you can’t be saved (you can’t) your friends can come in and get revenge.  Third:  Let’s face it, if you are asking for help in Militia chat then that means you aren’t asking in a corp, or intel chat.  This means you are in the wrong place to begin with.  A corp or alliance/cartel/community can do a LOT to teach you not only how to ask for help but how to not need it in the first place.

Fly Dangerous, Don’t be a bad

I’m using it every time I can

 

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About Corelin

An Eve playing Fool who occasionally writes about the shenanigans he and his minions get up to.

Posted on August 11, 2012, in PvP, Things I think I think. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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